How To Sabotage Your Own Success

The small business warrior has times when she experiences that sense of despair that comes from trying to reach her goals but can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Having invested all the time, money and energy you can afford (plus what you might have borrowed) the results you anticipated don’t come soon enough.

To continue to stay on course you need to avoid the following most common self-sabotage mistakes:

1. Limited Beliefs
Our words and thoughts are so powerful; they are what control our mind and lead us to make our decisions. When we don’t believe we can, we won’t. The first and perhaps most important step to achieving success is changing your belief system.
An enquiry came through from a woman who wanted help stepping out of her comfort zone. She was stuck in the same old patterns and wasn’t moving forward at all. When I explained my various package options to her she decided not to go ahead with coaching after all – because she wasn’t comfortable with phone coaching. She thought she wasn’t comfortable with phone coaching and therefore she believed she couldn’t do it.

2. A Lack of Vision
Having worked with entrepreneurs for the past few years, one common obstacle that repeatedly reveals itself is lack of vision (hence the creation of my Planning Business Strategies package). Your vision is much like the roadmap for your life. Would you take a long distance trip without plotting your route, rest stops etc? I doubt it.
You absolutely need to make sure your business is headed in the right direction or you are in danger of losing money and time. Take the time to visualise your future. I have written a series of articles on how to do this on this blog.

3. Comfort Zone Prison
As a small child I had a fear of going out of my depth in the ocean. As long as I could touch the bottom I was alright. I was scared of what would happen (even though I was a great swimmer) if I couldn’t put my feet down. It paralysed me and I was miserable because my older brothers would be playing and splashing further out and I couldn’t join them.
Not knowing what we might encounter by trying a new approach in our business is like being out of our depth. As frightening as it might feel we do not need to be ruled by our feelings.

4. Toxic Relationships
Years ago I went travelling with a close friend for almost 12 months. I used to be very conservative and judgemental of others but during the travel period we met so many wonderful (and not so wonderful!) people and my outlook began to change. I began to change. I was growing up.
Travelling together threw up a huge amount of challenges and with my new outlook I was much more relaxed and carefree but my friend wanted me to behave like the old Kirstie. Slowly but surely our friendship deteriorated and we began to fight, so I let her go.
If you know that a family member, friend or colleague is especially unsupportive of your business, don’t discuss it with them. Instead, discuss your business with those in your sphere you know will provide you with the support and nurturing you need to lift you up.

5. Fear of Success
Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? You would think everyone craves success but actually a significant number of my clients have a fear of success to some degree.
One client wanted to lose weight and after six months of coaching she was making great progress. However, when we finished working together she put all the weight back on and returned to work with me. It happened again – she lost the weight and then sure as eggs, it started to return. She finally admitted that she felt people expected more from her as the ‘skinny’ woman. But because she was doing more and achieving more she was attracting more opportunities and business was busy! However, when she was the ‘fat’ woman there was less action, less achievement and therefore not as much pressure to succeed.
If you are caught in the fear cycle, re-evaluate your beliefs and vision. You and only you have the power to put a stop to the vicious self-sabotaging revolving door.


© 2009 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.

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